lilly in the rose garden

Posted on: August 18, 2012

I’m scared because when I feel like this, I might fall through the cracks. I look for a distraction- someone to humor me, a game to play, something to take my mind off  of my worries. Will this year be okay? I’m sure my homework will be finished soon. But will I make new friends? Can I muster up the courage to break free and move on?

I don’t still carry the grudges of last year, and wounds seem to have been mended. But I am concerned that I still don’t have it all together. I don’t know if their openness was a one-time thing, and if that’s the right way for me to go. I don’t want my old safety nets, but will I come to regret casting them away? How can I deal with change when I continue to clamp my eyes shut and choose daydreams over reality?

Am I really brave enough to return? Or am I too desperate, lying to myself about my sanity. Will everything crumble the moment I make my move?

I have not regained my muscles, as my teacher said. It will be an uphill battle and a long time before I am settled comfortably. So, in the meantime, how do I go about my days?

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matryoshkaRose~ (the former lillymelody)
cosplay, street fashion, reviews and more!
When in doubt, come into the rose garden ( ・ω・)ノ

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Hair growth progress- As of June 2015- I regularly trim my own bangs and they look amazing- choppy and short. The split ends have ruined lives and murdered small children. I haven't had a proper salon cut since July 2013. I might get a trim of 4ish inches by the end of the summer? I'm lazy.

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