lilly in the rose garden

It’s October

Posted on: October 1, 2015

In a new city, in a new home.

I have so much and yet so little to tell. I’m a work in progress, in a moment of intense fluctuation. And yet the smell of the breeze on the first day of October…it conjures up sense from four years ago. My desperation for something solid to hold onto, my hope for a better season. As transitory as this month is, I can wish for a renewal of my spirit, of what October means to me and what new ceremony this year will bring.

I want to tap into the creative voice of those past lives of mine without also grasping at the sorrow and loneliness that bore them. I need to always remember how far I’ve come and what potential I can draw from the world and my own life.

Does this all make me a tad homesick? Maybe, but I have to remind myself that nobody is still there. My precious library hasn’t hosted that volunteer group in years and its leader fired. The clubs I was a part of are under new regimes now, in an institution that is changing so rapidly I’d hardly recognize it. My peers have grown and left. And look at me! I’ve changed so much just within the last three months- would anyone recognize me?

I’ll never forget what home is, what it entails, the selected rosy highlights. I’ll try to forget the grim, dark memories. The rage and tears and fervor. I’ll preserve the lovely- fall fest over a decade ago, the choppy pavement of downtown, beach shops and trolley rides…

But here is home too, even after so little time. I’ve chosen to not return, top pledge myself to this new world and enjoy it to the fullest. If this is the “new” me, so be it. I can be proud of this, hopefully.

All I need is a soft bed, my sketchbook, and a few trustworthy friends, and I’ll make it out all right.

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matryoshkaRose~ (the former lillymelody)
cosplay, street fashion, reviews and more!
When in doubt, come into the rose garden ( ・ω・)ノ

2015 Convention Schedule
AWA!!!

2016
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Metrocon
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Hair growth progress- As of June 2015- I regularly trim my own bangs and they look amazing- choppy and short. The split ends have ruined lives and murdered small children. I haven't had a proper salon cut since July 2013. I might get a trim of 4ish inches by the end of the summer? I'm lazy.

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